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Tips For Addressing Your Need For Alone Time With
Your Partner
Nurture Separate Interests
According to psychotherapist Charisse Cooke, “It’s essential to continue exploring new things together so your relationship can grow and change over time.” Dr. Sarah Mandel suggests encouraging your partner to try new things on their own, as this will help them feel appreciated as well as give you solitary time.
Stick To Other Commitments
Forgetting that we need social connections outside of our romantic relationships can become a major blindspot. Psychologist Lee Land says that separate social time is invaluable, and that “for many partners, being able to comfortably spend time apart can potentially lead to reunions that deepen and enrich relationships.”
How To Ask For Alone Time
Make sure that when you suggest more alone time in your relationship that you are upfront and have solid ideas of what that space will look like. It may be easier for your partner to understand if you’re able to share what that time will mean to you, and it might help them feel encouraged to pursue their own interests.
Take Responsibility
Relying on our partners to give us a sense of satisfaction in our lives, as well as daily happiness, is avoiding our responsibility to ourselves. When you can find what makes you feel fulfilled as an individual, it relieves a lot of pressure from the relationship and your partner.
Plan Time Together
Ultimately, we want to undo the belief that we’re only in love if we want to spend every moment of free time with our partner. Couples’ therapist Jason Polk says, “Be intentional about seeing each other. If you two put your best foot forward during this time, it can create a sense of reconnection and rediscovery.”