Here's What To Do In Your Marriage After The Honeymoon Phase Is Over

Every ideal marriage is born out of a shared vision of living happily ever after and officially begins with a honeymoon. Rather than being an extravagant getaway, a honeymoon can be understood as a state of mind in which everything is pleasant and carefree. A honeymoon phase, as relationship coach and therapist Michelle Mouhtis explained to Brides, begins as early as when you find the person you're in a relationship with is enchanting "to the minute details." 

For many couples, this initial period tends to be shrouded in a whirlwind of desires, psychologist Chivonna Childs told the Cleveland Clinic. However, after every high comes a low, and the honeymoon is no exception. Once reality kicks in, many couples struggle to keep their marital flame alive amidst day-to-day obligations and eye-opening revelations about each other's imperfections.

As Fawn Weaver puts it, "Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It's a choice." If the dust has settled and the sparks have stopped flying, here is what you can do to reignite the flame in your marriage.

Readjust your expectations and communicate

No honeymoon phase is exactly the same as another, but one thing is constant: what you do after the honeymoon is what matters. Every newlywed reaches this milestone, so it's perfectly normal. 

According to, you should re-evaluate and probably alter your expectations for your marriage once you've exited the honeymoon phase. To forge a long-lasting relationship, couples should set the tone for honest communication early on. Therefore, the post-honeymoon period can be the ideal time to discuss your likes and dislikes with your spouse nicely and receptively, per The Everygirl. Speak up if you don't like how you and your partner are dividing the expenses, allocating the housework, or making major decisions. 

Also, don't be afraid to bring up sensitive topics such as sex, says certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist Dr. Kristie Overstreet (via The Everygirl), as everyone's sex drive differs and yours might not be compatible with your partner's. Try not to tune your partner out and always validate their emotions.

Create new and exciting memories together

After you've done all the talking, the next thing you can do to spice things up is to embark on new adventures together. A 2009 study by a Stony Brook University research team found that trying a new experience together brings couples closer. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to embark on months-long road trips or stream your moments together on Instagram Live for the world to see. It can be as simple as joining a cooking class or participating in outdoor activities together. According to Hiking & Fishing, hiking promises to offer a fulfilling and unforgettable experience for couples because it involves a lot of teamwork. Whatever you do, make efforts to reaffirm to each other that you are both seen and appreciated in this relationship.

Whichever phase you are in your marriage right now, keep in mind that it's never too late to reignite the flame and develop a new foundation for your relationship based on mutual respect. As long as you still desire to be together, keep trying and, if necessary, seek outside help.