How To Survive A Long-Distance Relationship

Imagine this: you feel like you've found your soulmate, and you're madly in love with them. Every day with them is lovely, and the relationship is going wonderfully. You two go on romantic dates, are super attracted to one another, treat each other with kindness, and genuinely make each other happy. Then, your partner tells you that their boss suddenly wants to promote them, which will result in transferring to another state. You love your job and have to stay for now. What should you lovebirds do?

If you find yourself in this situation, try not to panic. Long-distance relationships can still be enjoyable so long as you and your partner trust each other and communicate well (via Verywell Mind). Of course, long distance relationships have challenges, such as not allowing partners to kiss or touch each other and extra difficulties when communicating (via Couples Coaching Online). Plus, not seeing your partner in person could make you start to get bored in your relationship. However, you shouldn't let the idea of these challenges scare you. After all, most relationships aren't perfect, whether they're long-distance or not. If you decide not to give up and try a long-distance relationship, there are some tips anyone can follow to make it easier.

How to make your relationship work

Communication is crucial for any relationship, whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship; you'll especially need to consistently communicate with your partner if your relationship has that extra distance. It can be easy to misunderstand what someone is trying to tell you when you're communicating through texts. Thus, Pysch Central adds that you should try to have more serious or deep conversations over the phone or video chat rather than text to avoid miscommunications. Moreover, you should avoid saying anything impulsive if a misunderstanding occurs.

Additionally, you and your partner should take the time to make each other feel loved in the morning and before bedtime, and send one another presents as cute reminders that you're thinking of each other (via Brides). If you miss the spicy aspects of your relationship, talk about adding some excitement to the distance through sending sexual messages or having phone sex.

Chances are, your long-distance relationship will take some getting used to, but following these tips should help keep the romance alive.

Don't forget your partner's love language

Everyone has different ways of showing someone that they care about them, but most people typically prefer receiving love in the form of one of the five love languages. According to "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, an author and marriage counselor, the five love languages are spending quality time, hearing words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or getting gifts. If you're in a long-distance relationship, it's crucial to remember your partner's love language and implement that language into how you show your partner that you still care about them despite the physical distance.

Although expressing love through any of the five love languages in a long-distance relationship may take some getting used to because you live so far away, it's essential to put in the effort. For instance, if your partner's love language is quality time, you should schedule frequent phone calls or video chat sessions with your significant other. When you're virtually spending that time with them, be sure to give them all your attention and make it an enjoyable interaction. They'll appreciate that you're trying to spend quality time with them despite physically being so many miles away. And try your best not to be late or cancel at the last minute to avoid hurting their feelings!

Here are some more ways to show your partner you love them based on the five love languages

On the other hand, if your special someone's love language is words of affirmation, you shouldn't be shy when reminding them how much you care about them (via Crated by Love). Sending them cute "I love you" and "I miss you" texts, messages with heartfelt compliments, and hyping your partner up when they feel down or insecure will go a long way. Next, we know that showing love to your partner can be tricky if their love language is physical touch and you're in a long-distance relationship. If this is the case, try to arrange visits as much as realistically possible, and when you get there, greet your partner with a big hug, and be sure to be very affectionate throughout your entire visit.

Furthermore, if your partner's love language is acts of service, you won't be able to drive them places, clean their home, or run errands for them in a long-distance relationship, but you can still help them in other ways (via BetterHelp). For example, if they're super busy and need to make a schedule but can't find enough time to get it done, try making one for them and emailing it to them. Last but not least, if their love language is getting gifts, send them thoughtful presents — not only on special occasions. Genuinely think about the meaning behind what you're sending your partner to show them you care.

Have consistent check-ins to ensure healthy communication

Honesty is imperative for romantic relationships, as bottling up feelings can lead to anger, distrust, or resentment; the distance will only intensify those negative feelings, so you and your partner should check in frequently to ensure you're on the same page. "A relationship check-in is a prioritized time where it's just the two of you being brave and open to hearing feedback," Gloria Magaña, a couples therapist, told Fatherly. "Also, it's a safe space reserved for honesty with the intent of making sure we are emotionally showing up in the relationship for each other." Thus, having these check-ins can help you and your partner figure out what you're happiest with in your relationship and any areas that may need a bit of tweaking.

During your check-in, you should be sure to thank your partner for any efforts they make to keep you happy in your relationship, such as understanding your love language. Plus, remind them of how much they mean to you. But you shouldn't be afraid to address the not-so-perfect aspects of your relationship, too. As nerve-racking as it can be to have those uncomfortable conversations, being honest about what needs to change is crucial. "Figuring out why a specific problem is a trigger point for either one of you, and figuring out how to get rid of it, will save you time, stress, and anxiety in your relationship," Diana and Todd Michem, two relationship coaches, told Bustle.

How to have great phone sex

Many long-term couples agree that sex is a vital aspect of romantic relationships. If you and your partner are used to consistently having sex and are worried about how not sharing that physical connection will affect your relationship when you're long-distance, phone sex is a spicy option to consider. Of course, consent is just as crucial for phone sex as it is for traditional sex. "When you're in a relaxed environment, put the idea out there and see how they respond to it," Rebecca Alvarez Story, a sexologist, told Healthline. You and your partner should only have phone sex if you're both comfortable and excited about the idea.

Phone sex can happen over a phone call or video chat, and you and your partner can listen or watch while pleasuring yourselves. You can make your phone sex even more provocative by employing sex toys. For instance, We-Vibe sells a plethora of long-distance sex toys, such as the We-Vibe Chorus Couples Vibrator and the We-Vibe Moxie Wearable Panty Vibrator. Try using vibrators and toys for countless sexy nights of passion and pleasure from a distance, and why not talk dirty to your partner during the process if that's something you're both into?

Plan fun virtual dates

Just because your relationship is long-distance doesn't mean you can't enjoy a romantic date! Try planning consistent virtual dates through FaceTime or Zoom to feel like you can still experience date nights and maybe even forget that you're so many miles or hours away. Plus, there are plenty of options to consider depending on your interests and passions. For instance, if you and your partner used to enjoy cooking together, try searching the internet for a new recipe for you both to cook while FaceTiming. Then, sit at your tables and eat while having a long conversation. And feel free to dim the lights and put candles on your table for some sweet long-distance romance.

Or, if you and your partner love watching movies together, try a virtual movie night. For instance, you can try watching the same horror or comedy film while talking on the phone or video chatting and challenge each other to guess who the killer is and scream together during all the scariest moments or giggle together during the funniest parts. You can also try the Teleparty browser extension to watch movies together on your computers. Furthermore, if you and your partner are used to going to the gym together, try working out simultaneously while motivating or challenging each other through the phone or over a video chat.

Which virtual date are you going to try first?