Red Flags For Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship

After years of flying under the romance radar and within months of celebrating her supposed singlehood by releasing a song called "Single Soon," Selena Gomez shocked fans by confirming her relationship with musician and music producer Benny Blanco in December 2023. The revelation was soon followed by plenty of evidence in the form of cute couple selfies and generous PDA. Onlookers, naturally, wanted to know everything.

By all accounts, Gomez and Blanco are happy and secure in the budding relationship. Captioning an Instagram post celebrating her boo's birthday, Gomez wrote, "Your emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart absolutely kill me. I love you."

Others have also spoken positively of the pairing. As one anonymous source told Entertainment Tonight, "[Selena] feels so safe and secure with him. ... Benny is a great communicator, is honest and open with Selena, and listens to her. He's respectful, isn't a player, and not in it for the attention or fame. He doesn't care about any of that and Selena sees that and really trusts him."

However, no relationship is perfect, and each couple must overcome challenges unique to their situation and personal histories — especially celebrity partners who live under the pressure of constant fame and nosy paparazzi. With this in mind, even Gomez and Blanco's seemingly happy partnership has some red flags that could pose a threat if not handled with care.

Blanco may not have respected Gomez in the past

Trust and respect seem to be major cornerstones of the current relationship between Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. However, there's evidence that Blanco may not have always held the "Wolves" singer in such high regard. In an October 2020 interview on the "Zach Sang Show," Blanco made a questionable comment while discussing a collaboration with singer Justin Bieber — who is, incidentally, Gomez's ex. "Justin's not one of those cookie-cutter pop artists," Blanco said. "Like you know, they're like, 'This is my new single and here's my makeup line.'"

Gomez had just launched her Rare Beauty brand the month prior, in September 2020, so many fans suggested that Blanco may be casting shade specifically at her. Even Gomez herself doesn't seem to deny that she was the target of the slight. On a now-deleted Instagram post, one fan commented, "You're just corny, OMG, that man was shading you years ago." Rather than arguing the facts of the insult, Gomez just replied, "Lol, yeah, and he's still better than anyone I've ever been with" (per Business Insider).

If the "cookie-cutter" comment was intended as fans took it, that's a bad beginning for a romance. Of course, people can always learn and grow, so it's believable that Blanco may have changed his mind after getting to know Gomez better. But old wounds can fester unaddressed, so it's critical that Gomez and Blanco overcome any previous negativity by prioritizing respect going forward.

Blanco's presence is causing friction with Gomez's fans

Fans are often ecstatic when a favorite celeb finds love, but Selena Gomez's nation of followers weren't all pleased to hear that their idol was now dating Benny Blanco. Fans were so bamboozled by Gomez's sudden outpouring of love for Blanco that some suggested she might be trolling her audience with some kind of joke.

"Never trolling," the pop star replied to one such comment (per Cosmopolitan). "I just stand up for what I believe in. I have no shame in doing that." However, the criticism evidently caused Gomez frustration, as she also reportedly wrote, "If you actually care about me, this is my happiest. If you don't, feel free to say whatever you want. But I will never allow your words to guide my life. Ever. I'm done. If you can't accept me at my happiest, then don't be in [my] life at all." This is a surprisingly tough stance from an A-lister known to be close with her fans, from openly talking about her struggles with psychosis and mental health issues to visiting fans with cancer.

Some commenters took offense at the sharp comebacks, one writing, "Fighting [your] fans for a man is embarrassing." Gomez directly responded with her own comment, writing, "The most important thing to me is my people. You all have saved my life. I have a right to defend my life, though" (per Buzzfeed News). Gomez makes a fair point — her life is still her own, even if lived in the public eye. However, pushback from fans certainly can't make things easier for Gomez as she navigates her relationship with Blanco, and may spark extra tension between the budding couple.

Gomez may still be mastering healthy relationships

Selena Gomez has clapped back at critiques of Benny Blanco, but some of these comments have struck an odd note. Consider how Gomez wrote off Blanco's unkind comments with "He's still better than anyone I've ever been with." Is that high praise, or is Blanco hopping over a low bar?

Gomez has previously suggested that her long, on-again-off-again relationship with Justin Bieber left behind emotional trauma. In a 2020 NPR interview, Gomez revealed, "It's dangerous to stay in a victim mentality. And I'm not being disrespectful, I do feel I was a victim to certain abuse." The interviewer asked whether she meant emotional abuse, and Gomez went on, "Yes, and I think that ... I had to find a way to understand it as an adult. And I had to understand the choices I was making."

While Gomez has been pursuing personal growth, it can be difficult to make deep, positive connections in the wake of emotional abuse — which can range from signs of gaslighting and guilt-tripping to name-calling and the silent treatment. The alleged emotional abuse between Bieber and Gomez hasn't been detailed or substantiated, but it's worth understanding that emotional abuse undermines survivors' sense of self-worth and skews their idea of healthy relationships, making it difficult to practice open communication or protect much-needed boundaries.Respect is said to be an important feature of the Gomez-Blanco relationship. Still, as someone who may be dealing with past trauma, Gomez may need extra support recognizing and maintaining a romance built on true equality and trust.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

Blanco is close friends with Justin Bieber

Speaking of Justin Bieber — and the fractious end of his relationship with Selena Gomez — the "Baby" singer is reportedly close with Benny Blanco. The two men have known each other for years and collaborated on multiple music projects together, such as the track "Eenie Meenie" in 2010 and the song "Lonely," released in 2021. Unfortunately, this long-time friendship could become a point of contention.

Even setting aside the possibility of emotional abuse in the former Gomez-Bieber relationship, it's usually a bad sign if an ex is entangled with your current romance. This situation likely will go one of two ways. First, Gomez may try to avoid any lingering awkwardness or hurt feelings by keeping Bieber at arm's length. This would be totally understandable and valid, but sure to cause discomfort in her relationship with Blanco. 

The other potential scenario is that Gomez and Bieber would try to put aside their seven years of dating history and play nice for Blanco's sake. Again, we can respect why they might try this approach, but would it be fair for either party? Gomez claims to be working past trauma from the relationship, and Bieber has his own marriage to think about. In short, Bieber's presence seems like a lose-lose aspect to Gomez and Blanco's burgeoning romance, likely to cause friction whether or not Gomez and Bieber keep their distance.

Gomez and Blanco's relationship is still young

In December 2023, Selena Gomez reported that she and Benny Blanco had been together for six months, which means that their relationship is still relatively recent. So like all new couples, Gomez and Blanco need time for their hormones to settle and their connection to stabilize into something lasting.

The early days of a romance — sometimes called the honeymoon period — represent the first of several hallmark phases of romantic relationships. During this time, it can be easy to look past any clashes or differences that might spell trouble for a relationship. As psychologist Chivonna Childs explains the phenomenon to the Cleveland Clinic, "You almost feel like you're high on love. ... It feels magical. Everybody seems perfect. We don't see any flaws."

In other words, the friends-to-lovers story between Gomez and Blanco may still be in its rose-tinted fairytale period. It's only with more time and shared experiences that the couple will determine their long-term compatibility and build the foundation for a more serious relationship. While it seems like Gomez and Blanco may be off to a good start, it would be premature to take the stability of their relationship for granted. Both lovebirds will need to continue their commitment and put work into the relationship if it's going to withstand the tides of time and public scrutiny.